Not much of an update.

Still waiting to hear that our homestudy's been approved and they're sending an inspector out to give our physical apartment their stamp of approval. Unfortunately as of right now we wouldn't pass because there are a few things that need to be fixed, but we're working on it. So things could happen very quickly. Then again, we're being told that in our count one can wait a year for their first placement if they foster ages 0 to 5! This is so different from what most of the foster parents I know have experienced, it kind of blows my mind. We're not even talking about "foster-adoptive placements", but about any foster care placement at all. Hopefully doing emergency/after-hours care will help our house not stay empty for a whole year, but we'll see. I'm feeling kind of bummed at the thought of putting together our new crib and having it be empty for that long. But only G-d knows what's in store, I suppose.

Freecycle rocks

We have gotten hundreds of dollars worth of baby and toddler supplies (ranging from furniture to clothing and beyond) via Freecycle lately, which is so amazing. We don't have a lot of extra cash lying around and are also big on minimizing our consumption of new items when possible for environmental reasons, so it's great to be able to reuse all this awesome stuff (some of it brand new or barely used, all of it in great condition). We've gotten a glider, a changing table, bags and bags of baby and toddler clothes, great baby toys, a Boppy, formula samples and more. It's also a fun way to meet new people. Folks have been very supportive and offered us lots of supplies when we've mentioned we were becoming foster parents, too. In fact I connected with another local foster parent on Freecycle when I posted in a posting looking for baby clothes that we were about to become foster moms. (Note to self: You owe her an e-mail updating her on how things are going.)

If you've never checked it out, I recommend it... You can find the official local lists through the site linked above, but there are unofficial Freecycle lists on YahooGroups, too. It's easiest to turn e-mail off so you only read the posts on the YahooGroups site, but the problem with that is you miss the chance to see new listings as soon as they post and try to be the first responder (first responders don't always get the item but they have a better chance). So when I have time to read the e-mails I have them come to my inbox individually, and when I don't I either do digest version or web-only. It's a little overwhelming at first if you live in an area with a busy Freecycle list, but it's well worth it. People give away a lot of junk but they also give away a lot of awesome things in really great condition and are unexpectedly generous. I think Freecycle is a foster parent's best friend.

Homestudy completed. What next?

Our homestudy is finally done, and we should be licensed within a month or so. Right now we are trying to decide whether we want to do after-hours emergency placements. I would love to hear your experiences with that.

We are being told we could wait for an entire year for our first foster placement even after we opened our age range up to 0-5, that's how few kids are in the system in our county and how many foster parents wanting small kids there are. It's so bizarre, given that in most places they are desperate for foster parents and never seem to have enough homes. But it's partly because our state has made some strides in keeping families together, which is ultimately a good thing. Believe it or not, we could get matched with a waiting child for straight adoption through the state before we ever get our first foster placement. Part of our desire to do emergency placements is just not wanting the "Baby Room" to be empty for a year. It would also let us "get our feet wet" and get some experience parenting foster kids so that by the time we have a child stay for longer we are more confident as parents. I also think it might increase the chance of us getting a longer-term placement sooner, since if an emergency placement ends up staying in the system (most go home or to family members within a few days) we would have the first opportunity to be a longer-term foster home for that child. We're leaning towards starting emergency placements in the late spring and only accepting ages 0-2 for emergency (0-5 for regular placements). Passover and some other things that are going on make March a hard month for us to have our first-ever foster care placement, so we wouldn't open our home for emergency after-hours placements until at least April. Obviously if a longer-term placement or potential adoption comes up before then we'll definitely consider it, though.

I have all these rants in me, some of which I've started writing out as posts... and then I get scared to post my true thoughts on some things about the foster care system, about other foster and adoptive parents, about race/racism, about politics. I've blogged before and I just hate how nasty people can get when they are anonymous. Yet I decided to start this blog, and so now it's just a question of how much I want to put myself "out there". For the time being I'm playing it safe, but hopefully I'll get up the courage to write about some more controversial topics soon since that's what's on my mind. I'll put the comments on moderation just to avoid the inevitable.

Who I am and why I'm here.

My partner and I are working towards becoming foster parents. We're currently going through PRIDE classes in our county and moving steadily towards our goal of getting licensed some time this spring.

I've been wanting to share my thoughts on this process in a way that's anonymous enough to be comfortable but also lets me keep in touch with other foster parents whose blogs I read (and many of which I've read for years). So I'm starting a blog of my own, though no guarantees that I'll post with any serious regularity.

Things I might post about include my thoughts about caseworkers and the agency... PRIDE classes... anti-racism and the white foster parent... Judaism and foster care... the things about the child welfare system that drive me insane (and there are so, so many).  I might rant a lot, or I might not. And eventually I hope to be able to tell you about the children in our care and get feedback from more experienced foster parents that will help us in parenting these kids. I really value the online community of foster parents and have found that foster parents are some of the most helpful resources in figuring out how things really work.

My partner and I have both had certain experiences with the child welfare system via our professional and personal lives... and the professional and personal lives of our friends, family and communities...  that have left us both convinced that the system is incredibly broken and dysfunctional. Yet, oddly enough, those experiences have also left us convinced that foster parenting is totally the right thing for us to do at this point in our lives.